So we’re in November….erm okay? Does anyone else still feel like they are in summer when the sunlight stayed around that little bit longer?
I know it’s soooo cliche, but honestly, this year has flown by! I can’t event comprehend.
But anyway, I love reading other people’s monthly updates and having a nosey at what they’ve been up to so I thought I’d share with you a little bit about my whereabouts and other more serious things like my anxiety, and how I’ve been.
Visiting Disney World
So if you haven’t already seen, yes I went to Disney World in Orlando, Florida. To be completely honest I didn’t document the holiday as much as I normally would because I really just wanted to enjoy my time there with my family and step away a little bit.
I was so lucky enough to get to go there again, as it has been a good 10+ years since I’ve been and experienced the magic of Disney. And to say I get to again is just amazing as I feel lucky to have been once let alone another time now I’m older and can appreciate it more.
My Step Mum celebrated a big birthday out there and she wanted to spend her special birthday with her close family so that’s the reason we were out there. We all had such a lovely time and it was so nice to see my little niece and nephew enjoy it so much as kids do! We got to stay in the Boardwalk Hotel, which was right on the Boardwalk surrounding a lake and lots of shops, other hotels and bars.
If you follow me on my social channels (linked below) you may have seen I was excited about going away, but my anxiety was SO high because of the flight. I hadn’t been on a long haul flight since I went away to South East Asia about 5 years ago and since my anxiety is at an all time high, I was dreading it.
So how did I get on?
Well….. surprisingly I did so well! I mean it wasn’t fun but it also wasn’t terrible. I managed to keep myself busy watching films and playing games and also just walking around the plane to where the rest of my family were. By the time I knew it, we had landed in a very hot Orlando!
The most amazing part was seeing how excited Jordan was when we started approaching Disney. He really didn’t know what to expect and he really did have the most amazing time!
There is one thing though that I wasn’t going to bring up or draw attention to, but I’m all about honesty here and I want to share the real parts of my experiences too. Read on to the Anxiety part….
I Attended My First Blogger Event
So I have been blogging for nearly 2 years and although I have been invited to a few events in the past for numerous reasons (anxiety and work commitments) I have been unable to attend.
However, I was contacted by the team at John Lewis Cambridge to attend an event in their store on a Thursday evening. As it was based in Cambridge (therefore I could drive there) and it was an evening, I plucked up the courage and accepted the invite.
Although I was slightly nervous going at first, everything was made easier as I ended up going with a fellow blogger friend, Becca from braidsandblooms and we went in together so my anxiety was reduced!
I ended up having a lovely time at the event. I even bumped into to fellow blogger friends who I hadn’t up until that point met in real life and it was so nice to finally meet in the flesh. As strange as it sounds, it honestly felt like I knew them so well even though we’d only spoken via Instagram, and we all felt the same.
It was a lovely relaxed evening, there were displays of the new John Lewis clothing collection which was lovely and vibrant and there were a few pieces that really stood out for me. There we also brands like Becca Cosmetics, Charlotte Tilbury and Clarins there who were there to show off their products and show their services. I have a lovely calming massage by the lovely Michelle from Clarins.
Overall it was a great experience and there was even a handmade flower wall (made from John Lewis paper) so I had to get a photo (obviously).
Working With Amazing Brands
You know in life you have lots of ups and downs and when one thing in life is great, the other may not be going how you quite planned. I think down to persistency and hard work, I have continued to receive lots of exciting emails and collaborations. I feel so grateful for what this little outlet has brought to my life. I am amazed at how I have nurtured and developed this blog and social channels into something that can not only bring me a little bit of an extra income each month, but also additional skills and knowledge for me to take with me.
I have also made some really great friends just from connecting and talking online. It’s crazy how close you can feel to people who you haven’t even met. But I guess when you have similar interests, it’s easy to connect and feel like you know them!
Okay so this is the fun part…. or not so much.
So I’ll start with the good part. I genuinely feel I am getting better. I feel that I am stronger and I am not letter anxiety take over my life as much.
Rewind this time last year, I would feel anxious every day, waking up I’d feel breathless and uncomfortable and always on edge. I’d panic when I drove to work and if I was stuck in traffic feeling trapped. I’d be at my desk at work feeling so overwhelmed even though I wasn’t even ‘stressed at work’
The general anxiety has massively reduced. I don’t suffer with it everyday and in places I feel comfortable I am genuinely getting on with my day to day life without it dawning on me like it used to.
But that doesn’t mean to say It hasn’t dissapeared when I am in ‘stressful situations’
So what happened when I was away?
The second day there I was starting to feel a little unwell. Almost like everything caught up on me, the whole build up of the flight, the jet lag, the sever tiredness and most probably the unsettling feeling of being so far away from my safe place, home.
After a full day of walking around Animal Kingdom, an then heading out for dinner in the evening I felt so tired I just needed to go to bed. It wasn’t even that late, maybe around 11pm and that evening Jordan, my Dad and Step Brother stayed out for a beer or two close by our hotel.
I was so excited to get into bed, put the TV on just chill.
But that plan went out the window!
I got into bed and started to try fall asleep when I could feel my heart racing. and when I say racing, I mean the type of racing you feel when you’ve just been for a light jog.
I instantly started to worry and wonder what was going on. I checked my pulse and it was way over 100bpm. Certainly not a normal heart rate for someone who is just resting.
I called my Dad and asked him and Jordan to come back to the hotel as I really didn’t feel well. They instantly come back and sat in my room for a bit to try and calm me down but nothing was getting my heart rate down. We even ended up going for a walk round the Boardwalk to try and take it off my mind but nothing was slowing it down.
On the way back to the room we bumped into the hotel manager and he asked if everything was okay. I couldn’t hold it in and just blurted out that I didn’t feel well and my heart rate was high and my chest was uncomfortable and he instantly felt alarmed.
As silly as it sounds, I knew this was probably a mix of everything and that it was nothing alarming but I felt so uncomfortable and I couldn’t get it out of my mind before I had piece of mind nothing was serious!
I asked him if there was an on site doctor and there wasn’t but he was happy to call 911.
I really didn’t want to be a nuisance and call them but part of me felt so on edge and nervous that something was really wrong that I just accepted it. Within minutes they were there and met me in the lobby where they sat me down spoke to me about my symptoms and really calmed me down. They done an ECG and checked my heart rhythm and he told me the rhythm was perfect and nothing to worry about.
He did say my HR was high, but it was only as if I’ve walked up the stairs and although it’s a lot higher than it should be, it wasn’t alarmingly high so he wasn’t concerned.
He was honestly one of the best medical professionals I’ve ever spoken to and he knew so much about what I was going through it really but my mind at ease. He reassured my Dad there was nothing to worry about as well as myself and encouraged me to try get as much sleep as possible and the fact that I was jet lagged didn’t help.
I felt so silly calling out the emergency services especially as I was in a different Country but I really felt unwell and uneasy.
I managed to get some sleep and the next day I tried my best not to let it affect my mood and whole day in the parks. Although my HR was still high when I woke up I remembered what the paramedic said and by the next day I ended up feeling a bit more myself.
I don’t think this was all down to anxiety, but I definitely think anxiety didn’t help the situation and the dramatic thoughts, but I wanted to share this very real experience and bring to light how scary and extreme these situations are.
Now I’m home I’m feeling a lot more at ease and better about it all, but I now know if the same sort of thing happens again I’m not going to worry or panic and it’s not alarming.
Anyway, onwards and upwards and I hope you all have a great November. x